I'm not one for New Year's resolutions because I believe self improvement and revolution is critical 365 days a year, however, I have set out to be more honest in my every day life this year. I truly started this honesty kick about 8 or 9 months ago, but so far things have been going fairly well.
I've definitely become more honest with people than I ever have been in the past and it's a very good feeling. I no longer feel selfish or guilty for not wanting to do certain things (or wanting to do things). Perhaps sometimes my reasoning for not wanting to do something (or vice versa) isn't "right" but how do you differentiate right from wrong in many cases? Sometimes there is no difference. Sometimes it's just a choice that you have to stand by, and I have been doing so.
The one thing I still need to work on is how to truly be honest with myself, especially regarding my needs and desires. Why is it so much easier for me to be honest with others rather than myself? Admitting to oneself what you need and desire to have a fulfilling life shouldn't be something to be ashamed of. It should be something you are proud of.
Maybe I am afraid to set myself up for disappointment or perhaps it's fear of rejection. I know that as time progresses I'll be able to be more honest with myself, but it's still frustrating that I sometimes can't treat myself with the complete openness and respect that I am learning to treat others with. I do know that I will get there one day soon though. Sometimes the journey is more important than the destination. Life is and should be a work in progress.
